JOE BOB BRIGGS ON THE PROPOSED NATIONAL ID

c/o CopWatch.com

You might remember Mr. Briggs as the comedic author of the infamous Drive-In Movie Review columns (which popularized such terms as bimbo-fu, the sign of the two-backed beast, and three and a half breasts). He's successfully branched out, becoming a Twain-like cultural critic, while retaining his reputation for honesty, impartiality, and accuracy (unlike his erstwhile competitor Michael "Mike" Medved, whose judgment can't be trusted, given his ridiculous "two thumbs up" reviews of Israel and illegal immigration).

Check it out.

"What if you spent 1997 hanging out in Rudy's Adult Video? It was just sort of a PHASE you were going through, and yes, you did charge $3,500 on Rudy's Adult Video three-for-the-price-of-two video specials. But you had no idea that when you applied for a job 10 years later at one of those super-high-security Enron-type companies, they would do a "deep background check" tied to your National Eye-Dee Card. "Take a seat, Mr. Wilson. We have a few questions about the 'Nurse Nasty' video series starring Jasmine St. Clair. Is it true that you watched all 34 volumes?"

There aren't many people left alive from the Depression years, when the Congress first passed the Social Security Act, but part of the big debate over it was whether it was constitutional to REQUIRE people to have an official number. I can remember old coots in Texas who were ready to go to prison rather than to submit to being numbered by the government. There were preachers who said it was Satan's work, a sign of the end times, when everyone would have the mark of the beast.

And look what happened. The old coots were right! After Congress repeatedly said that the Social Security number would ONLY be used to keep track of pension benefits, it was used by every government agency -- including law enforcement -- and every private agency -- including credit card databases that can track you back to the beginning of time -- to make sure you weren't pulling a fast one.

Later the same thing happened with drivers licenses. The purpose of a drivers license is ... class? ... to DRIVE A CAR. Nothing else. I don't imagine there are people still around who, when getting their license, say, "Now you're not gonna use this information for any other purpose, are you?" Because they already know the answer."

Think he's being paranoid? Guess again.

More reasons why a national ID is completely unacceptable.